I thought I had seen it all, having been a nurse, and pretty much heard it all too…but, oh no, online dating or the Troll Pit as I now call it, is in a whole other league of it’s own!
I can honestly say that I am shocked, and that takes a lot! So far in the last 2 weeks, I have had emails with the following;
1. Asking for an intimate encounter! Errr what you mean is sex, you want me to come and have sex with you…I believe that’s what prostitutes are for!
2. Being asked to go and help “spice” up a marriage! Seriously, WTF is wrong with you? No, no, no people. If you want to spice up your marriage, go to the local Indian Restaurant, I’m sure they have a Vindaloo in your size, but leave me out of it…weridos
3. Being told in explicit details what you want to do to me! Oh yes, because that is the way to make me go weak at the knees…weak from vomiting at the very thought of it!
4. Being told that you and your Dad have been looking at my pictures together and think I’m ” seriously hot”…OMG! That’s not a compliment, it’s disturbing and creepy, knowing that you and your father, who must be in his 60′s, are perving over my photo’s! Ewwwww.
5. Being sent naked pictures…What were you thinking, doesn’t quite cover it! FYI as an ex nurse, all I do is look at it and want to point out the problems that I can see! Just saying…
6. Being asked to send personnel photos to someone. Um, I think you need to spend more time reading a dictionary and less time being a pervert! It’s ”personal” not “personnel” you loser! Unless you actually do want my work ID photo…I’m not sure what is more disturbing!
The “Troll Pit” is not for those with weak stomachs or feint hearts. It’s for those of us, who are willing to look past the perverts, crazies and just plain weirdos in the hope of finding our perfect match, against all the odds.
Right, I need to bath in disinfectant, wash my eyeballs out with bleach and have an enormous glass of wine before I open anymore emails from strangers, who are clearly deranged!